I lost Her
by hakuna-matata15
Summary: Peeta has lost the girl he thought he has loved for years. He now has to suffer and overcome the agony of loss. When he makes it home, he finds that he doesn't have to do it alone.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own hunger games or the character, nor do I claim any credit for the actual story.

I lost her

Chapter 1 Peeta POV

The moment she pulls out the berries, my heart drops. She wanted to kill herself so I could go home. "No Katniss..." She gives me a handfull. "Together." I nod, and we stand, hand in hand. "1, 2, 3..." The buzz of the speaker throws me off right as the berries were about to touch my lips. "Stop!" I am relieved, and when the grip on my hand loostens, I figure she is too. A thud. The final cannon of the games this year. "May I introduce you, ladies and gentleman, to the 74th victor! Peeta Mellark!"

Carmen POV

I rip my eyes from the screen. What they do, it's so fucked up. My brother is in the mines. My parents both died so long ago. I'm hungry and alone. Trapped in the seam of district12. I knew Peeta. He gave me bread for less than they cost, every week. He was in my age group at school. I cannot bare the thought of him going through this, or the sight of it. I decide that I would be there to support him, be there as a friend, as soon as he got home. Poor little Prim. She is so sweet. I'll try to help them, too.

I feel the sting off tears, and I run, all the way to the fence outside the district. I consider throwing myself into it, but, no. I promised myself I would help.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Peeta POV

The train ride home is horrible. I cannot believe this, I can't think straight. I can't do anything. Effie is talking, someone is patting my back, but I ignore everything. I lost her, and I can't live anymore. I do notice that the train stops, and Haymitch ushers me out into the crowd. My eyes stay directed towards my feet, and I don't answer any of the questions being yelled at me. b

I don't notice that my hands are in fists at my sides untill someone uncurls my fingers and squeezes my hand. It isn't a man's hand, and my mother isn't capable of this kind of gesture. Gentle and loving, definetly not my mother. I stare for a moment, not really noticing as it leads me through the crowd. I look up, and find a real surprise. This girl is in my age group, she buys bread from me all the time. "Carmen..." "Shh, it's okay."

Carmen POV

I hold his hand as tight as I can, for fear that he'll dissapear in the crowd. His parents didn't want to leave the bakery, so I have to take him there, and I do. All the way to the bakery, without looking at him. The people have gone about their bussiness. Before he goes inside, I turn and say to him, "Thank you... and, sorry." I turn to walk away, but his grip tightens on my hand. I turn back, "why?" I frown, not sure of what he was asking. "What do you mean?" He looks up from his feet, "Why are you helping me, thanking me, saying sorry, I don't get it." My heart stops and I close the distance between us. "Because." my voice is almost mean. "What they did to you was fucked up." I feel the tears. "Because you have helped me for years, now it's my turn to return the favor." I rip my hand out of his and take off towards home. He's calling me, but I ignore it. I don't want him to see me crying.

I keep going untill I find myself in the meadow again. Little Prim is there with her goat. She is singing.

_"... a soft green pillow. Lay down your head and... close..." _She's having problems. She bursts into tears. I bend down and hug her. We sit there and cry.

I don't notice the footsteps untill they stop directly behind me. I look up and see Peeta, "I need to talk to you." I nod and shake Prim's shoulder. "Prim, I need to go." She stretches and says "Yeah. So do I." she leads her goat away. The moment she is out of earshot, he collapses and is sobbing. He's trembling hard enough that it looks painful. I pull him back up and bring him to his house in the victor's village.

Peeta POV

I don't understand. She's acting like my gaurdian. She brings me to my new house and lays me down in my room. She holds me there and keeps me calm. She can't stop the tears, no one can. But she can hold me in place and keep me from going over the edge.

I geuss I dozed off, because I open my eyes and find that it's dark. Carmen is sitting with my head in her lap stroking my hair. She notices I opened my eyes and says " I told you I'd be here for you, didn't I. Now was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" "I geuss, I just wanted you to know that I do want you here for me." I wait a moment. "I really, _really appreciate it." _She gives my head a nudge so that it falls off her lap. She stands and starts to walk out. "Wait, don't leave yet." She looks back at me. "Please." She smiles a little. "I'm not." She leaves, and a few minutes later I smell something good. She reapears in the doorway holding a steaming bowl and some rolls. "Here." she hands me the bowl and sits next to me. "What about you?" I ask. "Have you eaten today?" She shakes her head. "Don't really have an appetite anymore." I cram the soup, and I'm surprised. It's really good. "Did you make this?" she laughs a little. "Yeah. You have a fully stocked kitchen, I wanted to have fun with it." "It's great." I try to get her to eat a roll, but she rejects every offer. "I do have something else to ask." I start. "My parents, they don't really like me... and, well..." I don't know how to say what I'm thinking. "And you need a better support team..." She says. She would be able to word it. Subtle words, but, right. I nod. "I can do that."

"Well, bye. See you when I see you, I geuss." At that she starts to walk away. "Hold on. I meant, I mean..." More problems. "Stay for awhile." She looks at me, and chews her lip for a second. She shrugs, then gets back on the bed. When I finish my food, she pulls my head back to her lap. "So, what do you need me to do?" "Exactly what you're doing now."

Carmen POV

I wonder if he'll actually sleep. He slept all day today. We sit like this for hours, and he finally convinces me to chew on a roll. "Listen." I break the silence. "I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to replace... anyone." "Yeah, I know." "I mean it Peeta. I am here to make sure that you don't lose yourself, or just sit in this big ass house of yours and rot." It is a nice house. Luxurious in size, as well as this bed. The bed frame and pillows are white, and the sheets and blankets are black. My brother would be home by now, but I'm sure he doesn't care about my absence.

I'm surprised to find that we both sleep throught the night. When I wake up, I find that our position has changed. His head is pressed on my chest, just above my shirt line. My arms are around his neck. I pull my head out of his blonde hair. The clock says almost noon, so I start to pull out of the bed. I realise that Peeta had an iron grip on my waist. I sigh and run my hand through his hair. He grimaced, but only lowered his head into my cleavage.

This scene gives off a bit of a romantic vibe. How could it, though. He just lost the girl he loved, he's basically broken. "Peeta..." I shake his shoulder. "Peeta.." he grumbles, so I ask "Do you really want to be laying like that?" I can feel his eyes pop open, and he pulls away quickly. "I'm so sorry..." I laugh and dismiss it. His arms are still around me. "Let me up..?" He pulls his arms away. I get up and go fry Peeta some eggs. I only eat one before I'm full. "I have stuff to do today." I tell him. He looks dissapointed. "I'll be back soon. Promise."


End file.
